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Monday, December 23, 2024
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    Dear masochists, welcome to the 54th installment of our thrilling newsletter, where we revel in the mediocrity of our lives.

    This week, I’ve been indulging in some mind-numbing activities – binge-watching The Great British Bake Off, listening to Hasan Minhaj’s new YouTube show, and torturing friends with Vergecast clips on Pocket Casts’ new feature. Because who doesn’t love a good dose of schadenfreude?

    But enough about me. Let’s talk about the latest gadgets, movies, and music. Meta has released a new Quest 3, with a slightly more reasonable price tag and improved passthrough demos. Because who needs a budget when you’re trying to make a new reality? The limited-edition Ray-Ban Meta Wayfarer is a must-have for anyone who wants to look like a pretentious hipster.

    If you’re looking for something to waste your life on, Balatro Mobile is a new mobile game that promises to consume every waking moment. And for those who prefer their gaming experiences a bit more, um, “adult”, Wolfs is a big-budget film starring Clooney and Pitt. Because nothing says “entertainment” like watching two aging males yell at each other for two hours.

    Other hot new things include the new Roku Ultra, which promises to bring you the very best in streaming technology, and The Wild Robot, an animated film about a stranded robot that sounds so adorable you’ll want to watch it 100 times. The Legend of Zelda: Echoes of Wisdom is also out, in which you get to play as Zelda herself. Because who doesn’t want to be the damsel in distress for once?

    If you’re feeling particularly guilty about using Spotify, just know that their new AI playlist feature is addictive. It’s like the company knows exactly how to manipulate you into listening to their advertisements. And hey, social media is complicated, especially for kids in 2024. The new documentary Social Studies examines the joys of growing up in this digital age. Yay?

    In a shocking twist, Joanna Stern, a former Verge columnist and current Wall Street Journal contributor, has created an AI chatbot to tell you everything you need to know about the iPhone 16. Because nothing says “innovative” like using AI to do all the work for you. And in case you were wondering, she’s still using the same old apps, including Signal, WhatsApp, and YouTube. The horror!

    We also heard from our brave Installer community, who recommended some genuinely interesting things. Sliding Seas is a match-three game that requires strategy, but don’t worry, it’s still a perfect way to waste your afternoon. Gisnep is another puzzle game, this time in the form of a crossword-esque grid. And Satisfactory 1.0 is a game where you build conveyor belts all day long. Because what’s more satisfying than building conveyor belts?

    As a special treat, we asked Joanna to share her homescreen and some of the things she’s into. And, of course, we heard from our friend David Pierce, who just discovered that the iPhone 16 is the perfect companion for all his travels.

    So there you have it, dear masochists. May this newsletter fill your mind with useless facts and inspire you to upgrade your social media game with the latest gadgets and technology. Or, you know, not.



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